March 20, 2008

Wife Led Marriage, Sissification, and Forced Feminization

Posted in BDSM, FemDom, Life in General, Love & Sex, Loving Female Authority, Submission, submissive at 10:18 am by hersforever

I have been reading a lot of other Female/Wife Led Marriage (FLM) men’s blogs lately, and observed the large percentage of enforced feminization and sissification in practice.

E and I have talked about this topic, and she has made it clear that this is not what she wants.  Now, I will admit, that I do wear panties from time to time, and sometimes she requests that I do.  But, this is as far as she wants to go.  The has told me that the idea of me forced feminization and sissification is a turn off, because it reinforces the stereotype of the submissive woman.

I will try to explain her meaning.  To her, being a woman is a wonderful thing.  She is the origin of new life, the provides the resources for that new life to grow, she controls sexual access, she has the well-being of both her, her husband, and her family at heart.  She will make decisions to ensure the family’s success and happiness.  This makes her strong and able.

In contrast, sissification and forced feminization of men, degrades her, as it implies that the woman is inferior.  At a fundamental level, sissification says that for a man to be submissive, he must become a woman.  However, this idea of womanhood is exactly opposite of what she is.

Now, it is possible to make the argument that feminization and sissification is a gender role reversal of 1950s U.S. cultural norms.  This argument feels better, in the sense that these cultural norms are no longer viewed as valid in post-modern U.S. society, and therefore are not demeaning towards women, since they are no longer expected to comply to those standards.

However, this idea will not work for us, since she views these ideas as wrong to begin with, so any attempt to return them to social norms in any fashion is unacceptable.  We also feel that even if you try to only apply these ideas, customs, and behaviors to men, you still can’t escape the deep rooted female bias.

So our FLR is still evolving, and will continue to develop into a unique microcosm of society in which we are both happy, content, and deeply loving of each other.

9 Comments »

  1. Tom Allen said,

    .orced feminization and sissification is a turn off, because it reinforces the stereotype of the submissive woman.

    And rightly so. It’s always been a mystery to me how some men could talk about “Superior Women” and “inferior men” and THEN go on to adopt wearing the uniform of a SW as a mark of humiliation.

    Of course, the whole cross-dressing thing is just beyond me anyhow. I mean, I know a few, and I see that they enjoy it, and good for them. But I really don’t “get” the turn-on. In fact, I’m sure that a lot of women get a bit squicked by this as well, seeing the feminization as not an enhancement, but as a de-masculinization.

  2. susanspet said,

    I share your view on this subject. The whole idea is self-defeating. I am not mocking those who cross-dress. If it works for them, fine. Just that I like to see the true reason for what we do. I presented this in a slightly different way at http://hersforever.blogspot.com/2008/03/men-in-panties.html.

    Tom, as usual, your comment is a sober look at the substance of the issue.

  3. steven said,

    my mistriss loves to see me in panties but still wents me to be a man

  4. erosclave said,

    i’ve always had a problem with the idea of feminization as something that is belittling in the traditional sense. Yes – why on earth would a woman see a man who seeks to emulate her (imitiation being the sincerest form of flattery) want to belittle him for this? If it’s in his nature to feel more comfortable adopting the clothes, manner, style, or whatever of a woman, and if the woman he is with is comfortable with that – great!

    Submission is a different thing. If you’re comfortable being submissive in the relationship (wearing the panties in the family, according to stereotypical roles), that’s fine also.

    But being submissive doesn’t make you a femme.

    And being a femme doesn’t make you submissive.

    What the two have in common for some is the notion of weakness. If you’re male, being submissive cuts against the stereotype of maleness and is seen as a sign of weakness. And if you’re male, being femme cuts against the stereotype of maleness and is seen as a sign of weakness. Both are, by traditional standards, aberrant.

    But consider this. Is having a nature that goes against societal norms – and acting on it in a constructive way, within the context of a caring relationship and not letting it turn into a destructive compulsion – weakness? Or is it an empowering step in the life long quest for self-actualization?

    Your s.o. dislikes feminization “because it reinforces the stereotype of the submissive woman.” What if it actually is just a sign of your adoration of her: of her sensitivity, of her compassion, of her strength, of her being able?

    It may simply be that you enjoy feminization because it gives you another forum for expressing and giving voice to your being different from societal norms. Or a mantle you can put on the diffuse the tension between what expectations are, based on your body, and what you feel internally.

    If, for you, being femme is a source of shame, it’s pretty understandable that your s.o. would find it unappealing. If it’s a sincere expression of a desire to acknowledge that you’re not comfortable in the role society expects you to play or that you aspire to adopting the so-called feminine virtues (sensitivity, the ability to listen and communicate, concern for others as well as yourself, the need to develop, nurture, and build relationships, a willingness to postpone the immediate fulfillment of your impulses in favor of a longer term view), she might be more comfortable with it.

    But you need to ask yourself what you are gratifying when you put on panties or, if it were allowed, lipstick and a slip.

  5. laurent said,

    interesting post. but seen from the point of view of the slave and not so much of the mistress I think .
    Amongst all the sexual patners in my life, the two women who asked and derived a lot of pleasure from feminizing me were hard core feminists, it would be interesting to have their opinion.
    As for me there are a number of reasons why I might enjoy it
    1/ if as was the case for these two women it gives them pleasure.
    On the contrary I wouldn’t dream of doing it with a woman who would not enjoy it but would go along for my sake

    2/ a paradoxical feeling : when i am feminized on the one hand I feel humiliated not because iI think women are weaker or inferior but because i end up looking slightly grotesque and definetly not the real thing( unlike perhaps some transvestites who can sometimes look very good) )
    on the other hand the female wardrobe and accessories particularly are much more sexy and entertaining than men’s stuff and I must admit that having a string pantie up my crotch definitely gives me a warm exciting feeling
    3/ pushing the boudaries of conventional behaviour , after all isn’t bdsm also about this?
    4/ releasing the feminine in me. Who says gender has to be defined: a man is a man and a woman is a woman and if a man dresses like a woman that is because he is not satisfied with his own gender ( tranvestite, transexual) and yearns to change it. Who says I cannot be a full male and not have a feminine side that can be expressed when I’m feminized ?

    5/ feminisation is something intimate and a little shameful (however much I may be uninhibited, I wouldn’t be able to tell some of my friends or my family that I can enjoy it) . In that sense it becomes something you can only share with someone you really trust and love. testing one’s inhibitions is also a great sexual plus and doing it for someone is even more exciting.

    6/ it is a powerful way of expressing domination by showing my mistress’s power over me ( especially if it’s done in public)

    7/ finally in my last relationship my ( female) partner who was very submissive enjoyed it the most when I dominated her dressed up as a ‘mistress ( yes I admit it I switch)

    P.S do you know any links male blogs into feminization ?

  6. I have begged my sexy wife of 18 years to totally cuckold me and for her and her lover stud to completly feminize me and make me a woman. Then I want to be there house maid and nanny after there baby is born. Its finally getting to the point of no turning back and I cudnt be happier or wetter.

  7. sandrar said,

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  8. Sandra Dorais said,

    Hello veryone:

    I do enjoy reading ewverythinbg thus far my eyes have perused!

    Hoping to be able join the group, post my non-fiction true Male to Female where I am (how I got here) transition story.

    Happy holidays to all!

  9. Sign: zdbrw Hello!!! gesgz and 7976ngwshymttf and 2326 : Sorry, what did you mean?? A??


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