12.09.08
D/s and Polyamory
Posted in BDSM, DS, FLR, Female Led Marriage, Female Led Relationships, Life in General, Love & Sex, Loving Female Authority, Submission, kink, submissive at 12:55 pm by hersforever
In my last post I mentioned that E and I are poly. In case you are wondering, poly is short for polyamorous. The idea that you can love, have a deep emotional and sexual attachment to more than one person at a time.
Generally, many poly households are more egalitarian in nature than a D/s household. What is okay for one member is okay for the others, and no one is locked into locked into monogamy if they do not wish it.
However, I have struggled somewhat with this inside of a D/s framework. Basically, while E is free to have relationships, vanilla or kinky outside of our relationship, do I, as a sub have the same freedom? So my delema is that while we both associate ourselves as poly, if E says that I am not to have any other relationships, then am I still poly, or am I a cuckolded sub?
Now I am not completely cuckolded. E has told me it is okay for me to have sex with others if here is no emotional attachment and it is a time time thing, but to me this is too much like swinging, and not in the spirit of poly. As a result, this is not something I have pursued.
I have not yet found an answer to this, and perhaps it will come with time.
Susan's Pet said,
December 10, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I think in this case she could allow you or suggest that you have sex with a certain person at her discretion. It would satisfy both defininitions, although may leave you wanting more. But then, being a submissive, you have no choice but to comply. It seems like a perfect situation for you.
I would not worry about “definitions”. I would be more concerned with feelings and relationship.
helpmatehubby said,
December 31, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I(t sounds to me that your cuckolded by choice which is actually a very moving thing to be, to feel exclusive to her whereas you acknowledge her right to pursue happiness with others. I think you should be happy with your situation regardless of how it’s labeled and be proud that you invest all your mental energies on her.
BTW if you would like an invite to my blog send me an email at helpmatehubby@yahoo.com
jawadthaheem said,
July 21, 2009 at 11:46 pm
hi love u